


a place for the end

by hollow_city



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Lantern (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet Ending, Deathfic, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump, this was written before the reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9194204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollow_city/pseuds/hollow_city
Summary: "but i was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life. but when i die alone, when i die i'll be on time."Barry Allen, of all people, dies alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm evil and i cried and this was inspired by the song cleopatra by the lumineers.  
> (ps: i've taken something liberties when it comes to black flash... but this was also started long before legends explained exactly how he'll work in this universe)

So much has happened in Barry Allen's life. He's lost so much, gained so much. He's halfway to thirty, and he's experienced more than any person should in an entire lifetime, maybe two. He's done more for the world than anyone could ask of a thousand people. 

But that doesn't mean the world is cutting him any slack. 

He doesn't know how it happened, he could've sworn that he and Jay had sealed him away for good. He knows well enough that Iris will die in the future. His best friend will die, simply because she's connected to him. Cisco's brother is dead, Caitlin can't trust herself, Iris and Joe still have a rocky relationship occasionally, Wally has powers that could potentially be dangerous if he doesn't get the proper training. All of these things rest on Barry's shoulders, and he feels like he's lugging around a mountain on his back nearly all the time.

Seeing Julian in their lab causes his throat to tighten. Seeing Caitlin frantically check her bracelets when she thinks people aren't looking causes his knees to shake. Seeing Wally run at his top speed causes his chest to feel crushed. Every night when he goes out as the 'savior of Central City', he wants to run halfway across the world and never come back. 

That's how it was, to begin with, at least. Now, he feels like that every second of every day. Every moment that passes feels like an eternity, an eternity spent not searching for Savitar. He's constantly looking over his shoulder, half expecting to see that bright blue streak that's almost too fast for his eyes. He half expects to see the god of speed tearing through the crowd of strangers behind him, leaving nothing but carnage in his path as he heads straight for Barry Allen.

There's an obvious change in his behavior. No one comments on it at first, because it isn't all that bad. First, he's even more jittery than usual. They all just assume that it's because he's working on his speed again, and with speed, comes restlessness. But then, it gets worse than that. He becomes closed off, he has constant bags under his eyes, his shoulders are hunched in as if he needs to protect himself, his skin is unnaturally pale, and he's too quiet. Barry is not a quiet person, especially when it comes to things he's passionate about. Oftentimes, Julian can't get him to shut the hell up when they're working in the same place at the same time, but now he doesn't even have to tell him to stop. He can't stop, because he never starts. 

He becomes easily agitated, cutting off his training sessions with Wally early because he gets too frustrated. He sometimes - albeit rarely - turns off his comms when goes out, because he doesn't have the patience for them. They tell him how to use powers that they don't have, and they tell him when he does something stupid, and they don't give him the time to explain anything. They really don't give him the time of day at all anymore.

But the one thing that hurts even more than all of these combined? He's been replaced. They have Wally now; the new golden boy. He's faster than Barry was - no, he is  _not_ faster than Barry is right now, he's worked too hard for that. But not that they have Wally, they've begun to go to him first. They text him first, and lately, they've been sending Barry out less and less. Sometimes, he shows up at STAR Labs to find it completely empty, and has to run out by himself. 

It's like they're forgetting about him. But he hasn't forgotten them. He hasn't forgotten his reason for running. He needs to take down Savitar, and he needs to do it fast. He's come to the conclusion that it's all about that damn stone, but he hasn't figured out how to get it back. He tossed it into the Speed Force, and he's only been there once. He's only been there once, and he doesn't wish to go back any time soon. It was amazing seeing his mother again, but the way they screwed with his mind - not the mention the pain it took to get there - wasn't something he was a fan of. Beside, he has no idea how he would get back anyway. 

Now that he has no access to it, he'll just have to face Savitar head on. He's had plenty of time to work on his speed alone, so he's gotten just a little bit faster. He's not as fast as Savitar, not by a long shot, but he's also been studying the way the god of speed moves, the way he fights. It's become an obsession, and he knows it. But it doesn't seem to matter to him anymore.

He doesn't sleep anymore, just enough to survive. He barely comes home, not that he lives there anymore, but he never goes around there anymore. From what he's gathered, Joe doesn't seem to notice. He's got enough company with his two  _real_ kids around. He has a family that Barry doesn't need to be a part of. 

The only light of his life that's still around is Hal Jordan. Green Lantern. The loser from Coast City. They've been together for over a year, but Team Flash has only met him twice. Once when Barry brought him as a  _friend_ (they'd been together at the time, they just hadn't said anything about it), and when Green Lantern teamed up with Flash during the invasion. Oliver had suggested - heavily implied - that he shouldn't be part of the impromptu team, but Barry had been adamant on the subject. 

Not to mention, Hal was one of the only people who wasn't affected by Flashpoint. In fact, he hadn't even known Flashpoint had happened until he suddenly showed up on Earth right in the middle of it. He'd been on an off-planet mission at the time, and was completely unaffected. But as time wore on, he began to forget, just like Barry. That's when he knew he had to go back, and Hal left the planet once more so he could reset it. 

And now, they still don't know that they're not just friends who occasionally see each other. Either Barry runs to Coast City, or Hal flies to Central City, every single night. But for the past few days, Barry's backed out of running there, telling the Lantern that he has important business to attend to that he really can't avoid. And it's true; he can't let Savitar slip through his fingers again. If he does, he might not live to see it happen again. 

Hal has gotten pretty damn suspicious at this point, considering Barry would rather take a cold-gun to the face than spend a night in Central City. But he's refrained from invading his space and seeking for answers because when it comes to Barry Allen, pushing and pushing does not get the desired answers, it causes him to  _break._

So here he is, sitting on the floor in the middle of the cortex with his legs crossed beneath him. In front of him, a tablet rests on his knee and a laptop rests on the cold ground. Footage of one of his tiny battles with Savitar plays on the laptop, while he takes notes on the tablet. He needs to know  _everything_ he possibly can about the god. He chews anxiously on his thumb as his eyes flick back and forth at super-speed. His hand shoots out, pausing the clip just as Savitar's invisible form lifts him from the ground. He can see him in person, but cameras can't pick up his image.

He clears his throat as he reaches for his phone, which lies haphazardly on the ground a little ways away. 

"Uh... yeah?" He mumbles distractedly, continuing to scan his extensive and in-depth notes, searching desperately for something that he must've missed. He  _has_ to have missed something. He's a CSI, this should be easy, but it's not.

"We're going out, you wanna come with?" Cisco sounds just as distracted as Barry, but the question causes the speedster to pause his incessant searching. He can already tell from the tone in his former friend's voice that this is a pity call. He doesn't really want Barry there. He immediately goes back to searching for missed information.

"Sorry. Can't. Busy." He says shortly, chewing on his bottom lip as he swipes his finger across the screen, sifting through dozens of pages of notes. He's become obsessed, but he doesn't care.

"Whatever," Cisco grumbles, hanging up immediately. Barry doesn't seem to notice the tone or even the words at all, as he hums in acknowledgment and lets his phone slide back to the floor. 

He sits in silence for another hour, maybe two, before something actually happens. It happens the way it usually does, Savitar runs in, and Barry is ready in nanoseconds. He's suited up, a grim expression darkening his eyes. Savitar looms in front of him, his arms swaying as his heavy breaths escape him. They run off, like they usually do. Barry chases him, only for him to chase Barry, like he usually does.

But this time, Barry has something he didn't have before. He has a burning in his stomach, he has a twisting in his lungs that only means one thing. It's either he takes Savitar down this time, or he dies trying. There is no in between anymore.

They stop in the middle of an empty street with dilapidated houses and cracked sidewalks. The windows are dark, but they shatter the second Savitar runs past. He lets go of Barry, who skids across the pavement until he's a good twenty feet away. His chest heaves as he tries to catch the breath that was knocked out of him, and his mouth twists in an unsightly sneer.

"What the hell do you want from me?" He knows the answer, but that's not good enough for him anymore. Everyone seems to have a problem with his speed. Eobard thought he wasn't fast enough; Hunter just wanted it all, and now Savitar wants to challenge him. Not to mention, the Dominators wanted to take him for what he did with it. 

Savitar doesn't say a word, but through his constantly twisted expression, Barry swears he can see him grinning. By this point, it's become clear that Savitar is a fucking  _sadist._

"You wanna race? Is that what you want?" Barry calls out to him, watching as the massive blue head turns to the side as if contemplating it. "Well, come and get me!"

He doesn't waste any time, and takes off, building speed rapidly. Savitar is immediately on his heels, but he's clearly holding back. They weave through the city, rocketing past startled citizens and shattering car windows as they go. It goes like this for at least an thirty minutes straight, until Barry can barely feel his own feet anymore. His lungs are screaming, his head is spinning, and his legs burn so bad he swears they're on fire. His face stings like hell from the constant wind whipping against it.

Savitar seemingly enjoyed the chase to begin with, but now, Barry's actually managed to evade him several times, and he's getting frustrated. He doesn't like it when people outrun him. Especially puny humans like the Flash.

Finally, he stops chasing him and surges forward. His sharp talons sink into Barry's shoulder and swings him back around. The sudden change in momentum jars him beyond belief and his vision goes black for a second. They skid to a stop in the middle of an empty parking lot, and the street lights spark and fall dark. 

Barry's mouth falls open as Savitar slides his talons out of his flesh, letting him drop to the ground. The pain is unbelievable, but he can't let it get to him, or he loses immediately. He staggers to his feet, clutching the vicious wounds in his shoulder. It's already beginning to heal, and it itches relentlessly as the flesh stitches itself back together. 

"What do you want me to do? Huh? You wanna win, don't you? You can! Why not just kill me now?" His voice raises in volume until he's shouting. Savitar merely stares at him, waiting for him to make the first move. Something resembling a frustrated growl escapes Barry's throat before he suddenly sprints straight for him. 

The speed god seems surprised by this move, and it gives Barry the perfect opportunity to plow straight into him. They fly back and slam into the light pole. Savitar immediately fights back, angered by the sudden attack. He grabs Barry by the neck and swings him around, slamming him into the pavement. The speedster shakes with anger, phasing right out of the chokingly tight grip. His back hits the ground and his shoulder throbs, but he ignores it. He's on his feet in seconds, his eyes narrowed and dark expression twisting his features. 

He loosens the muscles in his shoulders and neck, before bending his knees slightly. Savitar mimics his stance, casting a shadow over him. At the same time, they both charge forward, meeting in the middle. They collide at a breakneck speed, and Barry's sure at least one of his bones shatters. He pays the feeling no mind, and keeps forward, causing Savitar to be shoved back slightly. He grabs hold of the creature's arm and yanks with all of his might, causing him to be swung around and into one of the few parked cars. The metal crunches and the glass shatters, followed by a deafening car alarm. 

Savitar is on his feet immediately, and slams his entire body until Barry's, sending the scarlet speedster flying back. He hits the ground with a sickening crack as his arm snaps beneath him. He sucks in a pained gasp as the limb twists unnaturally. He stumbles to his feet, his now useless arm hanging limply at his side. He could twist it back to the proper position, and he should, but he's already too dizzy from the pain. 

"Why don't you just kill me, huh?" Barry pants, hunched slightly in favor of his torn shoulder and broken arm. "Why haven't you just killed me yet? We both know you can."

Savitar seems to take it as an invitation and surges forward, Barry barely dodging the attack. His lunge is clumsy and he winces as his arm knocks against his hip. Before he can even think of moving again, Savitar is invading his space again, and his talons sink deep into Barry's side. He lets out a cry of pain, before slamming his good hand against the arm and pushing himself free. It feels like fire, and pins and needles dance across his ribs, but he somehow manages to break free and rush back. 

"That's all you've got?" He taunts, knowing he probably shouldn't push the speed god. His shoulder has finally healed, but his arm is twisted beyond belief, and can't heal like that. "You can do better than that!"

Challenging him was probably the worst thing Barry could've possibly done, but what else could be expected from an empty speedster with suicidal intentions? 

He moves back slightly, his feet dragging across the pavement. "You can do better," he mutters. 

Suddenly, talons are sunk deep into his stomach. A choked gasp, followed by a series of wet coughs escapes him as he arches forward, his eyes wide. All night, it'd been a back and forth game of tag. Savitar would surge forward and then pull back, and Barry would do the same. One would outrun the other countless times, leading up until now. The entire time, neither speedster had laid a finger on the other. Now, Savitar seems to have no problem with it. 

Savitar pushes forward even harder, causing Barry to be pushed back a few feet. The talons slide out in an instant, and they're gone before he can blink, but not before they drag up the front of his suit. The material tears and the lightning bolt is struck through with a deep scratch. He falls back and hits the ground as black spots appear at the edges of his vision.

"That's it?" Barry chokes out, licking his bloody lips and grinning. "That was pathetic." He coughs again, spitting up the blood onto the pavement. 

His teasing seemingly angers Savitar, who grabs him by the neck and hauls him up. He takes off across the parking lot, towards the abandoned building at the end. He lets go a good distance away, and Barry's body is sent flying through the air. He smacks straight into the wall and the bricks crack and crumble beneath him. Something cracks, but he can't tell what it is until he tumbles to the ground. He continues to roll down the front steps before finally landing in a crumpled pile at the bottom. Claws rake across the side of his head, tearing his mask away and leaving bloody splashes across the material that still remains intact. 

He can't seem to catch his breath and everything hurts. His arm is still twisted, his stomach is still gaping, and now several of his ribs are broken and his leg is broken. Everything swims in front of him and his heart pounds, but the one thing he does hear, is a deafening scream and a sonic boom. He blinks rapidly to clear his vision, dragging himself up onto his forearms. 

Barry's mouth falls open in utter shock as another speedster appears behind Savitar. Barry groans in agony as he pulls himself to his feet. He balances on his good leg and hunches forward over his wounded stomach and ruined arm. 

He recognizes the speedster.

_Black Flash._

The speedster of death. When he shows up, the death of a speedster always follows, and he knows already; it's him. But suddenly, an idea sprouts in his mind. Savitar is a speedster, right? He just has to get Savitar between himself and Black Flash, right? 

"Hey-" he coughs again, and blood drips down his chin. "Hey! Are you just gonna give up?" His voice is incredibly hoarse, but it gets Savitar's attention. 

Black Flash shudders as he breathes, before coming straight for Barry. The scarlet speedster braces himself and attempts to block out the pain as he lunges to the left, barely missing Black Flash's clutches. Savitar huffs and reaches forward to snatch Barry out of the air. He immediately drops to the ground, hitting the pavement with a thud. Black Flash continues forward, seemingly ignoring the hulking creature in between them. His hand, covered in a torn and shriveled black glove, comes down on Savitar's forearm, and everything stills. 

It's not how it's supposed to work, Jay told him that much. The Black Flash doesn't come until a speedster is dead, he said. He comes to take you away, and he brings you back to the Speed Force, he said. He said that the Black Flash will come for you, and he makes no mistake. 

And he knows he shouldn't wish for it, but he does. He wants the speedster of death to grab him instead. He wishes that he hadn't ducked away, he wishes that he had let him take him away. The Speed Force was so nice. It was warm and comforting, and despite the struggles he faced while he was there, he liked it. It was nicer there than it is here. It was quiet and it had his mother and Iris and Hal and it had everyone, and he was happy, if only for a brief moment.

He makes a pitiful attempt to reach up, but he can't move. His legs won't cooperate, and his entire body screams in agony. Every inch huts and he can't think straight. His vision reduces to just a tunnel of light, and he can't see anything but Savitar grappling with Black Flash. The longer they fight, the weaker Savitar grows.

And then he's gone. It's over, the fight is done. Black Flash is gone. Savitar is gone. The Flash will soon be gone. He knows this. The blood pooling around him is far too much to come back from, and he can't even move enough to get himself to STAR Labs.

With a wet, painful cough, he drags his good arm - the only good limb he's got left - up to activate the comm hidden underneath the lightning bolt on his cowl. His fingers shake as he turns it on, and he has to take several deep breaths before he can even get the energy to talk.

"I-I-" he breaks off to cough again, before finally taking in a shuddering breath. "I know you guys are out... at least.. you were, probably still are, but you record these things, don't you? You used to, but I hope you still do." 

He has to pause again as he somehow manages to drag himself up to lean against the grungy side of the brick building. 

"I'm gonna die, guys." Barry laughs humorlessly, his head lolling to the side. "I guess it's okay, though. I did what I had to do, Savitar's dead. He's gone, you're safe." His voice slurs slightly and he has to blink profusely to wake himself up a little.

He taps his thigh with his hand, not at all surprised when he finds that he can't feel the movement at all. His back is broken, again. He couldn't make it to STAR Labs even if he desperately wanted to.

"I just-" He pauses to cough, before continuing as if he hadn't, "I just want you to know that this isn't your fault. Even if you had been there, I probably wouldn't have made it out of this one. Even with Kid Flash, and Frost, and Vibe, it wouldn't have made a difference. This was what I had to do, I get it now."

His voice is weaker than it was at the beginning of his impromptu last-words speech.

"Cisco... I'm sorry for what happened to you. I was selfish and you didn't deserve that and I'm so sorry. But... I didn't kill your brother. I wish you would stop saying that I did." He winces, pressing his hand against his stomach in a pitiful attempt to stop the blood flow. It continues to bleed profusely and his skin itches as it attempts to stitch itself back together.

"Cait... god, I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than what you've gotten. Ronnie... that was my fault. Hunter... that was my fault, too. And now you have to deal with these powers and that's all my fault. I'm so sorry, Cait." His shoulders tremble with the effort of holding himself up. 

"Wally... You're a better Flash than I could ever be. And I guess that means... that's what you are now. You're the Flash. Not Kid Flash, just Flash. It's up to you now. Good luck." He lets out a shuddering breath and it takes extra effort to get it back. "And I guess you can have the mannequin now." He gives a weak laugh.

He slides down the wall slightly and leans his head back, his eyes wide with pain and blood dripping from his cheek. 

"Iris, Joe, thank you for taking me in. I was a little shit when I was a kid... I'm still not sure how you put up with m-me." His voice breaks and he leans forward slightly to spit blood up onto the pavement. "A-And, uh, I guess you're safe now, Iris." He frowns, despite the statement being true. He just wishes he would be there to see it.

"And HR, you're pretty cool." That's all he has to say about it. If he wasn't dying, they all would've laughed. 

His head spins suddenly and he lurches forward, which causes pain to pulse through him. He lets out a choked groan and slips further towards the ground until he's basically lying on the dirty ground. The stars in the sky seem even brighter than usual, and he smiles a painful, watery smile as he watches them spin around and around and twirl between themselves.

"Hal. Oh god, Hal." His stomach drops and he squeezes his eyes shut. "I'm so sorry. Please don't let my death affect you too much, you've got a job to do."

A broken sob crawls up his throat before he can stop it, and he almost wishes he'd never even tried to make this stupid,  _stupid_ speech. But now that he's started, he just can't stop. He coughs through his tears to clear his throat of blood. There's barely any energy left in him, and his body just won't heal like it's supposed to. 

"I love you, Hal. I'm so sorry," he repeats, his voice breaking on every other word. "A-And, I know I wasn't really supposed to know until you asked, but I found the ring a week ago, and I wasn't gonna say anything but- I would've said yes." He opens his eyes again and smiles softly. "I would've said yes."

The crushing feeling in his chest intensifies and he chokes, and his body falls limp. 

The breath leaves his lungs as he watches the stars.

_They were so pretty._

 

* * *

 

 

They don't find out until the next morning when they get back to STAR. Barry's suit is gone and the comm link is open, and the little red 'recording' light is flashing. 

Caitlin, Cisco, Iris and Wally all give each other the same look as Cisco pauses the recording and plays it back.

Iris hits the ground the second it starts. Caitlin's entire body shudders as frost engulfs her. Cisco doesn't move an inch. Wally's eyes fill with tears at the sound of his mentor's hoarse voice.

When it's over, Iris is still crying, Caitlin is shivering, Cisco is still frozen, and Wally is crying silently. He's gone before they can blink, immediately running towards Barry's location.

They find his body, and Iris cries until she throws up. Caitlin collapses in a freezing cold pile on the floor beside Barry's gurney as they try desperately to revive him. Wally paces back and forth with shaking hands. Cisco tries desperately to save his friend, but he has no medical training. That's all Caitlin, and she's an utter mess. 

Nobody calls Hal until an hour after they declare Barry Allen deceased. Iris calls him in tears, but she doesn't tell him what's wrong. He makes the connection immediately, and he's shooting across the sky towards Central City the second she hangs up. 

Team Flash hadn't even known that Hal and Barry were together. They hadn't known that Hal was Green Lantern either. But when he shows up in the cortex and the room lights up green, they realize immediately. 

Hal doesn't move for the longest time, merely staring at the bloodied and beaten body of the love of his life. When he finally moves, the Lantern suit dissipates and tears are rolling down his face.

It only gets worse from there. It never quite gets better, even after they hold his funeral. They bury him with the Flash emblem and the ring Hal had planned to propose with. Hal speaks at his funeral, but he has to stop halfway through because he can't talk anymore. 

It never gets better. 

Iris quits her job as a reporter and only sees Joe once every few weeks. 

Caitlin fulfills the prophecy and becomes the feared Killer Frost. She and Cisco cross paths many times, but neither comes out on top after any of the fights. Vibe and Killer Frost become mortal enemies, and Caitlin Snow is just a memory in the frozen mind of the icy villain. 

Joe falls into a deep depression, relying on alcohol to get him through the day. He can't seem to make it twenty-four hours sober because he knows that he will never see his bright-eyed, cheerful son every again.

HR? He stays because he can't go back, but he feels the affects of Barry's death just as much as the others. He stops writing his book, and he learns how to live on Earth-1. He's nothing special anymore.

Wally does as Barry requested, and he takes up the Flash mantle. He becomes the new Flash, with a bright silver and red suit and everything. But he never smiles anymore. He works as the scarlet speedster because Barry had wanted him to. But that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the gut-wrenching guilt every time he pulls that cowl over his eyes.

When Oliver finds out, he's inconsolable. He does something his team never thought they'd see him do. They'd been around for Laurel's not-return, Billie's death, and so much more, and he'd barely batted an eye at either (despite the staggering affect they'd had on him). So when Oliver's phone shatters as it hits the wall and his bow hits the floor and tears gather in his eyes, they don't know what to do. He doesn't say anything, because what can he say? Barry was the light, and now he's gone.

Felicity takes it much the same way. She cries nearly as much as Iris had, and she never quite lets go of the feeling. She leaves the team, with Oliver, for a while, leaving the city to Rory, Rene and Curtis. She doesn't come back, even when Oliver does. But one day, when she comes back, far in the future, she is not the same person. There is no light in her usually bright eyes, and her radiant smile doesn't exist anymore. She doesn't wear her usual bright colors and neon lipstick anymore. She wears bland colors and no makeup, which means it doesn't mask the bruises under her eyes. She's not the Felicity Smoak they knew.

Central City all feels the pain of the first Flash's death because he had become the light of their city. While Green Arrow was a dark force to be reckoned with, one who didn't take anybody's shit, the Flash was everyone's friend. They all trusted him, and he trusted them.

But then, he was gone.

The Flash is dead.

_Barry Allen is dead._

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wasn't gonna finish this for a while, but then 2.10 of legends happened and i h a d to  
> (not proofread yet)


End file.
